When I started in the wedding industry, I didn’t realize that tiny parts of the wedding day can be pretty controversial. On top of that, everyone has their own opinion and there’s conflicting opinions on almost every topic. From who pays the bill to seating charts to how to address your invitations, all sorts of people you’ve never met are waiting online to tell you that you’ve done it wrong.

The First Look is nothing different. The concept of the First Look is one of those things that just really divides people! If you haven’t heard of a First Look, it’s when the couple takes a moment before the ceremony to see each other for the first time. Most of the time they spend these moments alone, occasionally with the bridal party nearby. Some will tell you that a First Look is absolutely necessary and some will tell you it ruins the magic of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony.

I’m here to tell you that it’s 100% absolutely your choice. Your day should be a reflection of you and your soon-to-be husband/wife/partner and every choice is yours to make. But, if you are on the fence, here are three reasons why your photographer probably wants you to do a first look.

1. Timeline Flexibility 

I work with all of my couples to help them plan out their day. We work through the different wedding traditions they want and don’t want, I guide them through how much time each part of the day takes up and the optimal lighting scenarios for their day. Doing a First Look provides the flexibility to rearrange aspects of the day to be the most efficient and smoothest for all involved. This ensures we aren’t rushed or trying to take all of the photos after the ceremony. A typical First Look timeline includes couple’s portraits  for a little while, then maybe the bridal party or even family photos. Taking the photos before the ceremony means couples can enjoy cocktail hour with friends and just breathe for a while after the ceremony.

2. Finding the Best Light

Timeline flexibility leads right into finding the best light. Doing portraits both before and after allows for a lot of visual variety during your day, as they could be taken at two different times in the day. It also mean your photographer can pick the absolute best time lighting-wise for photos.The quality of light is so important in taking photos, especially primarily natural light photographers, so having that flexibility allows your photographer to put you in the absolute best light, literally.

3. It Can Give You a Private Moment And Calm Your Nerves

While we can all disagree on many wedding related things, one thing most of us agree on is that the wedding day goes by in a flash. My wedding seemed like it happened in a span of minutes. When I look back on our First Look, it was a long, peaceful moment with my husband that I will always remember. It was also one of the only times in the day when we were alone (aside from my wonderful photographers). The day can be long, tiring and full of so much smiling and hugging that some of us introverts just need a moment to ourselves. For them, this is an amazing moment.

I’ve also heard from a lot of brides that seeing their partner before the ceremony helped them calm their nerves. For me, I still bawled like a baby through my vows (and so did Alec), but it was nice seeing him throughout the day. He put me at ease.  Getting rid of the nervousness can really help you slow down and enjoy every part of the day, rather than rushing the part where you get to see your other half. This at ease feeling also seems to make couples less nervous during photographs, allowing your love to show through in the photographs, rather than nervous smiles.

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So you may have read those and thought, “Those aren’t very good reasons. I’m not going to see my fiance before the wedding.” To that I would say, “Good for you!” And I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way. Ultimately, I believe in the Offbeat Bride philosophy that your wedding should be a representation of you and your love for each other. I’m just here as a photographer and a friend to give you the knowledge and the tools to make your wedding day absolutely wonderful.

Feel free to leave your opinions about First Looks below! I’d love to hear what you think. Did you do a First Look and hate it? Didn’t do one and wish you had? Not sure what to do? Let me know!

Until next time,

Madeline